In 2019 I experienced the sudden onset of mysterious, unresolvable pelvic pain.

I woke up on one Sunday morning with an explosive, searing sensation roaring through my entire pelvic floor non-stop, and promptly took myself to the ER.

After hours of scanning, testing, talking, the removal of an IUD, peeing in cups, being probed by an ultrasound machine, no physician or practitioner could help me in locating the cause, or offer a remedy or resolution for the pain.

For 6 months I bounced from specialist to specialist, desperately chasing after anything that might alleviate my discomfort, and fix the problem.

Despite my frantic efforts, this chase led me nowhere.

This was truly one of the darkest seasons of my life — feeling afraid, alone, helpless, increasingly hopeless, and in constant pain, with no answers, no solutions, and no idea what was going on.

Thankfully, I was lucky enough at the time to have developed a strong internal compass, and enough trust in my life path to stay open to what was unfolding…

Even if I hated it.

I decided that maybe, potentially, somehow, this experience might be happening “for me”, instead of just “to me”.

I allowed for the possibility that the pain was here to teach me something.

Or some things. I didn’t know what, but I knew I couldn’t stay in that helpless-n-hopeless headspace forever.

So, I started getting curious…

What if my body, specifically my pelvis, was trying to wake me up to something?

What if there was some underlying issue that wasn’t going to show up on a blood test or pap smear, but was feverishly trying to get my attention?

Slowly, messily, whilst having no clue what I was doing, I started letting my body, the pain, my pelvis, my pussy guide me in new directions..

She told me to get out of the relationship I was in with a man that was not completely safe for me.

She told me to leave the city I was living in, to move to the mountains of Colorado, to connect with the earth, with wildlife, to engage in the world of embodiment and somatic healing — a world I did not know existed up until that point.

She told me to shift my business, to explore a whole new body of work focused on Feminine awakening that was being slowly handed to me in bits and pieces.

She told me to set boundaries. Lots of boundaries.

She told me to rest. And to learn how to take better care of myself.

To raise my standards in terms of my quality of life, and the kinds of people I fostered relationships with.

She guided me to new, different, more holistic practitioners.

She introduced me to new healing modalities and practices — some wildly alternative, some supremely ancient.

And as I began to heal, and the pain started to ebb more than flow, and my body began finding a new homeostasis, she told me that eventually, I would be guiding other women on this path of pelvic reclamation.

Women who may not be in extreme pain the way I was, but who can brilliantly recognize that they have some unresolved issues with this sacred part of their body.

• Women who feel disconnected from, or uncomfortable with, their own sexual expression.

• Women who experience pain instead of pleasure, or who feel…well, nothing.

• Women who carry shame or painful past experiences that are now interfering with them getting to be free, at home, and empowered in their bodies, their relationships, their lives as a whole.

• Women who feel “stuck” in their heads, and are sick of overthinking and over-analyzing.

• Women who are not particularly struggling, but are simply ready to come home to their own inner guidance, and a grounded sense of power and clarity that is undeniable.

What has transpired in my body, and in my life, since waking up to that pain in 2019 has been the most magical, bizarre, awe-inspiring journey of personal healing that has now touched and transformed every single corner of my life.

I learned, over and over again, to turn inward, to listen, to connect with my body on a deep level, to translate the messages I received, to touch (literally and figuratively) the truths that live inside my pelvis, and lined the tissues of my physical body…

What did I hear? Receive? What am I now offering to you?

Well, so much more than I can put into words.

But the biggest piece of this profound puzzle sounds a little something like this:

If you want to know the truth about your life?
Touch and talk to your pelvis.

If you want to know what your next step is, what you really need, or what is no longer serving you?

Tune into your pussy. Place your hands over your womb space, breath down, deep, in in in…

And listen, and feel for, and honor what she has to say.

There’s a reason the female pelvis has been maligned, misunderstood, neglected, labeled “gross” or seen as a problem, and so often overlooked within modern Patriarchal society.

And it’s not because there’s something wrong with it.

It’s because a woman who is plugged into her pelvis, who reveres and cherishes her sexuality, who can be guided by the wisdom of her womb — that woman is a force to be reckoned with.

That woman is free.

Behold: An extremely sad selfie I took upon arriving home from the ER. I felt so scared and alone, and some part of me thought to capture the “rock bottom” of it all. (Looking back now, I’m grateful I did…)